Open Doors' Blog


Phrendz….. :-)

Posted in Uncategorized by Open Doors on April 2, 2012

Making friends is no rocket science for me. I have special friends everywhere. it is a way of life for me, collecting friends. I have friends almost everywhere,  friends who are vendors at our local market. They are  special; we share news with each other before business is transacted. The guy who mans the Fresh n Honest coffee kiosk at Churchgate station is my friend. He see me approaching, and gets  me my regular, sugar free, extra strong coffee. Then there are others like the waiters at Tea Center, rickshawallas, fellow travelers I meet in 9.05 Virar local, the cashier at the Bank, the list can go on. I remember going to work one morning only to realize that I had left my money purse at home! I got off the train, absolutely worried, no money to either go back home, or take a cab to the office. Besides, there was no one at the office that day to lend me some money. As I stood there in utter panic, one of my ‘phrendz’ came to my rescue. The lady who sells fruit at the entrance of the Station looked at me and said, “Auntie, kya hua? (what’s the matter?)”…… I just needed that one gesture of concern….and in no time I had enough money to go back home. No IOU was required…just a good friend in my time of need.  

After all these years, it is now evident to me that friends do mean  much more than just fun together. It is one of the  fundamental human needs. The severe form of punishment even in our prison system is, solitary confinement, where there is no access to friends. The prisoner gets food, clothing and shelter, but no friends. I think that it would be apt to describe hell as a place that has  no friends. It is easier to comprehend a friendless setting than a fiery one. Our mortal bodies would be consumed by the fire….but would be tortured endlessly in a friendless place….  and that could be hell of an experience!

When the chips are down and I feel really low, that’s when I feel the need for a friend. I don’t any counsel, or advice….. I just need to giggle and let my soul breath.  There are other times, when I have just discovered something new or beautiful or even witnessed something awful and sad, I need to phone a phrend and share my wonder or grief, Well, friends come in all sizes and shapes and colors. But they all bring to  the relationship the warmth and the strength to cope with any trial along the way. It is interesting that as we move on in life, sometimes, some of our family members also become like friends……:)  

Rabbi Harold Kushner, elaborately describes this in his observations: 

I was sitting on a beach one summer day, watching two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the sand. They were hard at work building an elaborate sand castle by the water’s edge, with gates and towers and moats and internal passages. Just when they had nearly finished their project, a big wave came along and knocked it down, reducing it to a heap of wet sand.

I expected the children to burst into tears, devastated by what had happened to all their hard work. But they surprised me. Instead, they ran up the shore away from the water, laughing and holding hands, and sat down to build another castle.

I realized that they had taught me an important lesson. All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spend so much time and energy creating, are built on sand. Only our relationships to other people endure. Sooner or later, the wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up. When that happens, only the person who has somebody’s hand to hold will be able to laugh.”

I want to treasure my phrendz, the general ones, the special ones, the extra special ones, and the very close ones,  for a long, long time…..  No more delays in  resolving issues or reconciling relationships. Echoing the Donkey in the movie Shrek, I want to say that  livin’  la vida loca (living this crazy life)  is  going to be bearable only if I  have my phrendz.with me. Viva la vida , with all my Phrendz!!!!

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