Open Doors' Blog

Two Stories About Marriage

Posted in Interesting Insights by Open Doors on February 12, 2011

Story one

Deborah K. Johnson writes: ‘My seven-year-old daughter wanted to take violin lessons, so I took her to a music store to rent an instrument. Hoping she would understand the importance of making a commitment to practice, I explained that lessons were expensive. I was willing to make the financial sacrifice if she promised to work hard. “There may be times you’ll feel like giving up,” I said, “but I want you to hang in there!” She nodded, understanding, then in her most serious voice she said, “It will be just like marriage, right, Mom?” ‘


Story two

A husband asked his wife, ‘Tell me, dear, have you ever been in love before?’ She thought for a moment and replied, ‘No, darling. I once respected a man for his great intelligence. I admired another one for his remarkable courage. And I was captivated by yet another for his good looks and charm. But with you, well, how else could I explain it, except love?’

Have you been finding fault with your mate instead of remembering the qualities that attracted you to them? Attitudes are like weeds, they spring up overnight and if you don’t deal with them they take over the whole garden. Don’t let that happen! Next time you’re too busy to show love, or you react in anger, read these words: ‘Love is patient and kind. Love… does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged… Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance’


Achieving the Right Balance

Posted in Interesting Insights by Open Doors on January 3, 2011

Have you ever been stuck in a situation where you have to put in some extra hours at work to complete a career-changing project and at the same time have to be at home to help your son or daughter who has an important exam the next day Priyanka Chowdhury tells you more about achieving this delicate balance between personal and professional life

Ever been in a situation where you are confused about whether to give priority to your professional life or to your personal life If the answer is affirmative,then you are not alone.We all have been through this bitter-sweet struggle of balancing the demands of our career with that of our families.
Avadhoot Hinge,Trainee Researcher,IndiQuest Research Service,who was a former BPO employee,says,When it comes to giving priority,we always have to choose our professional life over our personal life as its our bread and butter.However,the demands of work and the odd hours require us to compromise on our personal lives which in turn leads to a rift in the relationships that we have.Balancing your professional and personal life is one of the hardest things that you have to do in your career.
Ever so often,all professional employees get caught up with meeting demands to achieve professional goals and neglect their personal lives.Career often takes priority as without it,we would not be able to provide for our family,which is everyones ultimate personal goal, adds Hinge.Thus,in order to achieve this,professionals often justify the long hours spent in the office as a necessity and top priority.
However,managers are of a different opinion regarding this issue.As John Rutgers,Project Manager of a leading Mumbaibased IT firm says,Professionals should learn to balance their personal responsibilities,relationships and goals with their professional ones.If they are unable to do so,then they are often distracted at work and submit projects that are not up to the mark.Also,the inability to balance both the aspects also makes professionals resentful as they feel overwhelmed by the pressure to keep up the pace and lose sense of what is truly important.While,the task of achieving a balance might seem tough,its not unachievable.All one has to do is plan,prioritise and stick to their goals.

Says Harshal Rajpal,a professional working with a leading media firm (name changed),”Until now I have been lucky enough to find jobs which have weekends off.So I try and make the most of these holidays when it comes to my personal life.I try and not bring work or work frustrations home and keep my work life away from my personal life.”
In order to maintain the delicate balance between work and life,professionals should try the following:

Set limits at work
Professionals should try and set a limit at work.Setting limits involves learning to respectfully say no,delegating effectively,and putting time restrictions for yourself.Initially,it is a hard task to achieve,especially for the career-oriented people.However,it prevents the professional from getting overwhelmed with the process and work to start running their lives.

Set a personal time

Not only should a professional set a personal time for themselves,they should also treat it as seriously as they would treat their work time.The personal time should be treated like any business appointment on your calendar,which is a commitment that cannot be shrugged or ignored.You wouldnt dream about missing an important meeting with colleagues or clients,so treat the time that you spend with your family in a similar manner.

Evaluate your priorities

Professionals should set clear personal and professional goals that will help to simplify life.In order to do this,professionals should first identify unimportant things that demand and drain your time and attention.He should learn to recognise what is important and what would help him to put his life in balance and not get easily sidetracked from his goals.
Finding the perfect work-life balance is a lifelong journey.It doesnt happen overnight.It only happens with serious effort and constant attention.


A Tale of Two Leaders…

Posted in Interesting Insights by Open Doors on December 13, 2010

What do people feel about themselves, after they have spent time with you.

It’s said that William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli were great leaders but intense rivals. Gladstone, leader of the Liberal Party, is considered by many to personify the best qualities of Victorian England. A career public servant, he was a great orator, master of finance, and a staunchly moral man. He was made Prime Minister of Great Britain four different times, the only person in history to achieve that honour. Under his leadership Great Britain established a national education system, instituted parliamentary reform and saw the vote given to a significant number of people in the working classes.

 Disraeli, who served twice as Prime Minister, had a different kind of background. In his thirties he entered politics and built a reputation as a diplomat and social reformer. His greatest accomplishment was masterminding Britain’s purchase of the Suez Canal.

Both men accomplished much. But what really separated them was their approach to people! The difference can be best illustrated by a story told by a young woman who dined with each of the two rival statesmen on consecutive nights. When asked for her impression of them, she said, ‘When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.’

There’s an important lesson here. Good leaders win the confidence, trust and friendship of people they lead by taking the spotlight off themselves and putting it on others. In fact, this principle will work for anybody.

Let’s honour one another above ourselves…even to the point of delighting in honouring each other. Yes, this does go against the commonly accepted logic of promoting oneself. But if we do this, this world we truly become a more enjoyable place for us all to dwell in.

Work On Your Marriage

Posted in Interesting Insights by Open Doors on December 10, 2010

Former U.S. Education Secretary William Bennett attended a contemporary wedding where the bride and groom pledged in their vows to remain together, ‘As long as love shall last.’ Bennett said, ‘I sent them paper plates as a wedding gift.’

If you want to build a great marriage, one that will go the distance, you must concentrate on doing these four things:

1) Take responsibility. By blaming your mate you never have to face yourself honestly or change your own behaviour. That’s a cop-out! Relationships aren’t dumping grounds. Having a healthy self-esteem ensures you can accept who you are and deal with your weaknesses.

2) Be a friend. Ever notice how easily we accept our friends as they are, yet have trouble doing that with the one we’re married to? Look out, familiarity breeds contempt! Doesn’t your partner deserve at least the same respect, loyalty, patience, gratitude and appreciation you give others?

3) Have a shared goal. You always need something to plan for and work toward together. Doing this will enrich your relationship and take it to higher levels. So, what’s your next goal?

4) Have courage. Dr. Theodore Rubin says, ‘The problem is not that there are problems, it’s expecting otherwise; it’s thinking that having problems is the problem!’ There are no perfect situations in life. But you need courage to face whatever comes, and not give up just because the road seems rougher than what you had expected.

So work on your marriage today!

Deciding to change ???

Posted in Interesting Insights by Open Doors on December 1, 2010

If you are serious about changing, the first person you must know is yourself. Human nature seems to endow us with the ability to size up everybody-except ourselves. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, you won’t be comfortable with others. And if you don’t believe in yourself, your lack of self-worth will undermine you in life. One marriage counsellor says, ‘The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You’ve got to be your own best friend first.’ But how can you be best friends with someone you don’t know, like, or respect? That’s why it’s important to discover what or who you were created to be, then work at becoming that person. And you won’t get there overnight; it’s a process-one that requires a mindset of honesty, frequent repentance and constant self-correction. But if you commit yourself to it the Almighty will help you.

The first person you must work on is yourself. Dr. Samuel Johnson said, ‘He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts, and multiply the grief which he purposes to remove.’ We are told to ‘Examine yourselves.’ Only as we honestly examine ourselves do we discover where our true battles lie.

Then we’ve a choice. We can be like the man who visited his doctor and found out he’d serious health issues. When the doctor showed him his x-rays and suggested surgery, the man asked, ‘Okay, but how much would you charge just to touch up the x-rays?’ Or, you can decide to change!

Character-The Beauty That Lasts

Posted in Interesting Insights by Open Doors on November 29, 2010

The public relations department of a beauty products company asked its customers to send pictures along with brief letters, describing the most beautiful women they knew.

Thousands of letters came in. One caught the attention of the employees and was passed on to the president. It was written by a boy from a broken home who lived in a run-down neighbourhood. With lots of spelling errors, an excerpt from his letter read: ‘A beautiful woman lives down the street from me. I visit her every day. She makes me feel like the most important kid in the world. We play checkers and she listens to my problems. She understands me. When I leave she always yells out the door that she’s proud of me.’ The boy ended his letter saying, ‘This picture shows you that she is the most beautiful woman in the world, and one day I hope to have a wife as pretty as her.’

Intrigued, the president asked to see the woman’s picture. His secretary handed him a photograph of a smiling, toothless woman, well advanced in years, sitting in a wheelchair. Sparse grey hair was pulled back in a bun. The wrinkles that formed deep furrows on her face were somehow diminished by the twinkle in her eyes. ‘We can’t use this woman,’ said the president, smiling. ‘She would show the world that our products aren’t necessary to be beautiful.’

When it comes to beauty, get your perspective right: ‘Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes… clothe yourselves… with the beauty that comes from within, because that is beauty that will last you for a lifetime…

A Survey on Work-Life Balance in Mumbai

Posted in Interesting Insights by Open Doors on November 17, 2010

This is a survey on work life balance in Mumbai which was done by Mumbai Mirror. This makes for some interesting viewing.